Smallest primate ever discovered

You really should make it clear to those not versed in genomics terminology that this is satire...

Is this another one of those Paluxy River cases?

I don't get it at all.

OK I'll explain the joke. In metagenomics you amplify DNA from some environmental sample -- here, seawater. You don't bother culturing or identifying the microbes in the old fashioned way, you just sequence chunks of DNA from whatever is in the sample.

So this is done and the data is then put online and researchers dig through it. These clever wags found human Alu sequences which indicates that some lab technician's DNA got into the sample (e.g. in sloughed off skin cells or something) and amplified along with everyone else.

But of course they pretend like they have discovered primate DNA indicating a tiny microscopic primate swimming around in the ocean with the bacteria.

Hmm, not as funny when you explain it, as usual...

Nick,

They say that "the ocean sample sequences did not yield a perfect match to the human genome." Could this be a case of "intelligent sloughing"? ;-)

Or possibly just bad dandruff

They should sequence the DNA of the researchers involved and compare them to Neandertal. If the DNA turns out to be some other primate they have to figure out who carried the sample contamination and where did they get it (could be embarassing). Maybe one of the researchers is Bigfoot.

while my posting is obviously a joke, the Alu elements in the ocean metagenome are real. It appears that (at least) most of them are human contaminants, as they can be found in human genome sequences. For some reason, many of these sequences did not make it into the final assembly. At least they are not found in Ensembl.

— Kay at Suicyte

Obviously we've discovered our genetic link to Sea Monkeys.

I've always known that the phrase "man is the only animal that..." is always followed by a falsehood. Now I guess it's also "Primates are the only order that..."

A better animal story.

A real (and important) metagenomics story.

There is an alternative explanation here, after all these millennia of our traipsing around the oceans, having boats and ships sunk out from under us, and tons of humans drowning at sea, plankton (phyto and zoo) have incorporated alu genes into their DNA. That's right, it's sloppy lateral gene transference sex.

How shall we make it up to those poor, innocent rotifers?

SunSpiker suggests: “That’s right, it’s sloppy lateral gene transference sex.”