Advanced Weapons Technology of Antievolution

Posted 30 October 2006 by Wesley R. Elsberry

In what looks like "News of the Weird", we have a report from Monroe County, Michigan of an antievolution activist taking up arms against the system. What sort of "intelligent design" weapons technology might the modern antievolutionist use? According to the report, Mark A. Wood entered the school offices of Monroe Middle School asking if people thought he looked like an ape while holding onto... a brick.

A man waving a brick barged into Monroe Middle School and ranted about the teachings of evolution before being arrested by police Tuesday morning. [...] "The best part is, no students were in danger," Mr. McLeod said. "Fortunately for us, he came right into the office. It's pretty obvious he was kind of disturbed."

22 Comments

Glen Davidson · 30 October 2006

If he'd just had a handful of dung instead of a brick, he'd have been the perfect example our primate relatedness. Not that he wasn't a pretty good argument for (very little) evolution as it was....

Glen D
http://tinyurl.com/b8ykm

Jim Wynne · 30 October 2006

Mark A. Wood entered the school offices of Monroe Middle School asking if people thought he looked like an ape while holding onto... a brick.

I'll bet he did, except for the brick.

Doc Bill · 30 October 2006

At least Mr. Wood's argument had some substance (the brick) which is more than I can say for Dembski, Behe, et al.

Coin · 30 October 2006

Now... are you sure he was an anti- evolution and not a pro- evolution activist? He could have just been trying to demonstrate to the schoolchildren how homo habilis used rocks as simple tools.

Henry J · 30 October 2006

Wonder if (non-human) apes would be insulted if they realized people are saying they're related to us...

Steviepinhead · 30 October 2006

Well, if they were pro-environmental non-human apes...

Or pacificst non-human apes...

Or...

Hmm. Maybe I need to start slumping more and drag my knuckles. Wouldn't want to be mistaken for the "crown* of creation."

Extra Irony Points: "Steve"--as in Steve Steve, the Steve List, ahem, Steviepinhead, etc., comes from Greek Stephen with an etymology having to do with "crown."

steve s · 30 October 2006

No word yet on whether the Discovery Institute was going to post his bond and make him a Senior Fellow.

Shalini, BBWAD · 30 October 2006

Dembski would probably want him as one of the kooks on Uncommon Descent.

Another DaveScot, perhaps?

Michael Hopkins · 30 October 2006

I am surprised that this sort of thing does not happen more often.

qetzal · 30 October 2006

It's pretty obvious he was kind of disturbed.

The brick just confirmed it. (rimshot)

Popper's ghost · 30 October 2006

Are you sure this wasn't just an Ask.com commercial?

Allison · 31 October 2006

That's unfortunate. Even Creationist idiots have a right to their views but that's not remotely acceptable. No students were in danger, but he was waving a brick around other people which was really, really dumb. I do always like to see "No one was injured in the incident." in a news story however.

Oh and stop crowing that he is typical of C/ID types, he's obviously not, or our job would be a lot easier.

ben · 31 October 2006

I am surprised that this sort of thing does not happen more often

What's "this kind of thing?" Lunatics waving bricks in school offices and asking if they look like apes?

ben · 31 October 2006

Did the police calculate the CSI of the brick?

Peter · 31 October 2006

Mental illness doesn't discriminate IDiot or not.

DragonScholar · 31 October 2006

May I suggest a new T-shirt:

"I don't need Evolution! I have a Brick!"

wamba · 31 October 2006

He is being held in the Monroe County jail on charges of attempting to assault or resist a police officer, violating the school weapons free zone and disorderly conduct.

The next time masons come to repair the school's facade, they're in trouble.

wamba · 31 October 2006

He is being held in the Monroe County jail on charges of attempting to assault or resist a police officer, violating the school weapons free zone and disorderly conduct.

The next time masons come to repair the school's facade, they're in trouble.

The Ghost of Paley · 31 October 2006

Oh and stop crowing that he is typical of C/ID types, he's obviously not, or our job would be a lot easier.
— Allison

Or even harder.

Julie Stahlhut · 31 October 2006

Actually, when I formed a mental image of this guy running around agitatedly while holding a brick, it tweaked the synapse that dredged up the opening scene of "2001: A Space Odyssey".

Does he look like an ape now?

Shalini, BBWAD · 31 October 2006

[May I suggest a new T-shirt:

"I don't need Evolution! I have a Brick!"]

Or perhaps "I don't need Evolution! I AM a Brick!"

Chris C. · 1 November 2006

Did the police calculate the CSI of the brick?
— ben

Ben-- that is, by far, the funniest thing I've read today (although the story itself is pretty funny). We've got like, four layers of humor: absurdity, that CSI is calculable, that the police would find it useful for criminal investigation, and that the brick has it. I can just imagine some hard-boiled cop walking into the CSI lab and yelling at the scientist, "You said the CSI is 2.4, but what I've seen says its at least 4. Check again." And then, later on, he solves the case.