Hebrew is the last common ancestor of all languages

Sadly Apr 1 is already almost over here in Sydney.

I've read of this before on Google Scholar. "Hebonics" if I'm not mistaken. Very interesting stuff....

Carol C has been redeemed,she was right all along,now myself, Lenny Raging Bee "et all" will be forced to read Landers book

In principle, all Hebrew words are derived from one of a thousand or so three-letter roots. These roots in turn derive from a smaller number of two-letter roots

As a linguist, that is pretty funny stuff.

And the River Danube is derived from one of the lost tribes of Israel (Dan) etc. etc. This is proof that peoples of Europe are the remnants of those tribes and that Britain is one of them (The British Israelite association believes something like this - seriously ! It's very popular in NI among the evangelical protestant churches by the way.). I think there's also something about Westminster Abbey being the throne of King David in their literature.

It's still April 1st here but it's after 12 noon so I suppose the time for jokes is really over.

Here's a link to the above:

I'm sure they are YECs as well !

This has got to be an April fools joke. Nobody could really be this silly.

I now see where Carol is coming from.

Because no vowels are written in old Hebrew there is much less chance for it to conflict with modern science.

as in:

Bcs n vwls r wrttn n ld Hbrw thr s mch lss chnc fr t t cnflct wth mdrn scnc.

If you just take out the vowels from the word science the NOTHING conflicts with scns.

Easy.

I laughed so much I plotzed!

BTW, the lack of vowel marking in Hebrew must be the result of a cosmic disemvowelling. Moses must have made G*d angry one day. Then, for the rest of history, the Jews were made to wander the world without vowels. Hence the undermarking of vowels in Yiddish.

If Carol doesn't weigh in on this, I'll be disappointed.

If Carol doesn't weigh in on this, I'll be disappointed.

The conventional wisdom is that Hebrew and the languages of Europe share only three words: amen, hallelu-Yah, and Kokah-Kolah.

As a student of Yiddish, ikh muz zogn, ir hot geshraybt zeyer a fayner artikl! Efsher ir darft es ayngebn tzum YIVO?

Oi Vay!

No comprendo nada de esta caca que escribes.

Sorry, the only Yiddish I know is "putz" and "shlemiel".

Which both mean the same thing, IIRC.

Arden wtote:

"If Carol doesn't weigh in on this, I'll be disappointed."

Then Lenny weighed in:

"That would require a sense of humor ---- religious nuts are notorious for their lack of such."

I am a little late to this due to the coincidence of April first and the Sabbath here in beautiful New Jersey. Using a computer may not be one of the 39 forbidden tasks to Jews on the Sabbath but it is deemed inappropriate activity by the rabbis.

This is really funny. All I have to add is, Lenny, gai kaken.

I will leave the translation to others.

I say no more because I do not want to derail this thread.

I say no more because I do not want to derail this thread.

I say no more because I do not want to derail this thread.

Arden,

I was trying to crack a joke. Guess it didn't succeed with you.

I was trying to crack a joke. Guess it didn't succeed with you.

I was trying to crack a joke

See, I was right after all. No sense of humor. I think the religious nuts must think it's sinful or something.

Carol: Re. using a computer on the Sabbath. My brother , who was a Physics teacher (he now works for the civil service in the department of education) once had some children from the Exclusive Brethren movement in his class. Among one of the things they refused to do, in class, was to use the computer - at any time ! Apparently computer bar codes contain the numbers 666 (or so I've been told) and this obviously means that they are associated with the Antichrist (I'm not joking !)

Another thing which the women of the sect did was not cut their hair. I'm not sure what the reason for this was.

April fool?

The last time I attempted parody on PT, 2 lawyers wrote to tell me and the world where I had gone wrong, even though I explicitly stated in the last paragraph that I was being deliberately silly. It is gratifying that linguists and Yiddishists have not made the same mistake.

Thanks to Ms. Pang for the compliment. Unfortunately, I can't even conjugate Yiddish, so I have little motivation to join YIVO (Institute for Jewish Research, a center dedicated to Yiddish and eastern European Jewish culture). You might say I know a lot of Yiddish nouns but no sentences.

I managed, however, to decipher Ms. Clouser's instruction to "Dr." Flank, and I have to say that in this instance I agreed with Ms. Clouser. For the uninitiated, the ancient Hebrew verb kaken is probably related to Mr. McClure's Spanish noun caca: further evidence that Latin languages are also Yiddic.

Putz and shlemiel are not synonyms. Putz is a vulgarism neaning a jerk, a stupid person, a shmuck. I think it may be stronger than shmuck, but both are vulgarisms and should not be uttered lightly. A shlemiel is more of a clumsy simpleton. I suppose you can be both a putz and a shlemiel, but you don't have to be; a shlemiel who knows his limitations is not a putz.

Finally, my apologies to those who thought the article was Greek to them. Maybe if they started reading I.B. Singer and eating Levy's rye bread, ...?

Definitely serious Adam. They are extreme Calvinists and don't believe in evangelism at all (if God is going to save someone then he will choose to do it) apparently. An acquaintance who I skied with for a number of years left the sect and joined the Baptist church. His family haven't spoken to him for years !

I'm not sure if the 666 thing about computer bar codes is an urban myth or not but there are a lot of people here who believe that the little stamp that you get when going into Disney World for instance is an example of what the mark of the beast will be like (I've heard this type of thing on christian TV here-Jack Van Impe for example)

I.B. Singer and eating Levy's rye bread
hahhahah
boom boom

Arden on the missing vowels I have a theory.

When the "name we cannot mention" was communicating with Moses he was using an early form of SMS on those ancient PDA's the "Holy Tablet".

The first commandment was actually commandment zero

0. Thou shalt not use vowels, (so I can get away to my golf game with "you know who", I've got a life to and think of the time it will save)

we are not aware of it because the "Holy Tablet" was only a 10 line device and commandment zero scrolled off the top.

There is also the possibilty that men were only given vowels by their wive's when they fully complied with all their needs.
As in Wife: "n sx fr y ntl yv tkn t t grbg". Husband:"aaaaeeeiiiiooooouuuuu"

I managed, however, to decipher Ms. Clouser's instruction to "Dr." Flank, and I have to say that in this instance I agreed with Ms. Clouser. For the uninitiated, the ancient Hebrew verb kaken is probably related to Mr. McClure's Spanish noun caca: further evidence that Latin languages are also Yiddic.

Oy?

You are Making this up. for the truth of the matter, go here.

On another note, late for april fools day I know but true anyway:

"Science" means "knowledge"; it is a search for truth. When liberals, atheists or others run to a sympathetic judge in another state to ban books, curricula, displays and the like, that is censorship, which liberals once disavowed but now seem to endorse, as long as it is used by them and is needed to convince students that theories are facts without alternatives. True science is all about comparison. If something requires censorship to survive and cannot stand up to review and comparison, it is not science. That is fundamental.

Adaptation is observable fact, but propping up pet origin theories by censoring opposing data is detrimental and unacceptable in any freedom and science-driven society.
http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/opinion/letters/sfl-brmail807xapr03,0,3692253.story?coll=sfla-news-letters

Yeah BWE Gerry Carr at the Sun Sentinel WAS 2 days late with his piece about censorship and libruls, but hey what they lack in humor they make up for in irony.(smirk)

And of course Luke was a Doctor so they've got us there. ...oh wait what about those Pagan Greeks ? Asclepius, Hippocrates and Galen who trained in Alexandria of all places? Not to mention the Islamic physician al-Razi and the Zoroastrian systematizer Al-Majusi.

He incorrectly states that Hospitals were a Christian invention and while Europe was still in the throes of the Christian Church's dark ages AS A DIRECT RESULT OF shutting down the Pagan Greek Schools by the usual suspects...ignorant god brotherers..Islamic science and medicine flourished.

They actually led the world until around 900CE when the Islamic church leaders decided that "The one true word of God^TM" was in danger of being diminished by the heresy of reason in the minds of the common man.

Yup nothing like a little Obscurantism to help the medicine of fundamentalism go down.

Bah.. Broken link
Gerry Carr at the Sun Sentinel claims Xtianity is the mother of medicine ....forgets to check history.
Islamic Culture and the Medical Arts
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/exhibition/islamic_medical/islamic_00.html#toc

Lenny wrote:I figured it out from the Afrikaans version, which says "Gaan kak in die mielies". (I learned that from some South African friends.)

Your Afrikaans is really good Lenny.

I can swear really really well in Spanish, French and Arabic, pretty good in Farsi, Japanese and Russian, and know a few choice words in Afrikaans, German and Lakota.

Shimata, roophy. Take the 'm' and 'a's out to get the English translation.

Baka is fool or idiot. Usually said while sticking out one's tongue and pulling down a lower eyelid with an index finger (it takes some practice to pull this off)